picture: Sony Classic/The Italian Website
Tonight we finally had the opportunity to rent "The Italian". It's a movie about a six year old Russian orphan who is about to be adopted by an Italian couple. The boy, Vanya, runs away from the orphanage after taking papers from his file to go and find his birth mother. He does this after another boy tells Vanya if he ever changes his last name, his mother will never be able to find him.
It's an interesting movie and one we included a link to at the right. The backdrop of the movie is pretty accurate - at least compared to what we saw while there. We watched remembering those minty green walls, the roads full of potholes, the cold, and the women wearing short skirts and tall heels even though it was freezing. Another interesting note is the movie takes place during the same time of year we went to Russia. It looks as if the Italian couple make their first trip in late winter and then return in late spring.
While most of the set of the movie was extremely accurate compared to what we saw while we were in Russia, we are not sure about the actual orphanage. Once children turn four they move out of the 'baby home' which is supposed to be a medical facility and where Jack lived. Once four, children move to an educational facility and this is where Vanya lived. We wonder if this is not unlike the orphanage Jack's birthmother grew up in.
The movie does a good job describing all of the social layers and complexities that exist - all of the orphans...the new mothers who give up their babies every day. In our experience, it is also accurate with regard to how people treat each other in Russia. We noticed while we were there that people are much 'gruffer' with each other than here. There is no mincing of words. Rarely are people polite. It's "an every man for himself" attitude - even getting off an airplane. People don't let the row ahead of them go first. Everyone rushes to the middle. People cut in line like crazy. Towards the end of our second trip, we finally just cut in front of the people who cut in front of us at the food stand or in the grocery store... they didn't seem to mind....it's just how it is.
In the movie children smoke - we did not see that, but we did see a child who looked to be about 9 pull a pint of vodka out of his coat pocket while playing soccer in Moscow.
What the movie DID do is make us think about Jack's mom. In the beginning there is a birthmother who longs for her child that she abandoned a few years before. She arrives too late - after he has been adopted. For the first time, I really thought about Jack's birthmother and what she could be going through. I wonder if she thinks of him. I wonder if she longs for him. I wonder if she'll ever try to get him back - she can't, but I wonder if she'll ever try. What would she think if she knew her son is living in America?
The orphanage in the movie made us wonder if that was what her life was like for 18 years. She was four when the Soviet Union was dissolved. I don't know if foreign adoptions took place before that. We think it was probably unlikely and people aren't as likely to adopt a child that is four, five, six, ten - an older child. Did she ever really have a chance? We were told she lived in a clean apartment, but the apartments in the movie are nothing like what we have here. And the older teenage kids at the orphanage - what kind of life will they have when they get out? Perhaps it was very brave for her to give up Jack. Perhaps that's just me making excuses to make myself feel better. Who knows what the situation really was for her. I can't imagine how she feels, but I bet she thought about him on his birthday and then again on the 28th of the June - the day she decided to put him up for adoption. I thought of her on those days. For the first time, I see how important it is to include Jack's birthmother in his lifestory. He needs to know what we know. It's part of his identity. I haven't shared it all here (for his privacy) and we are lucky to know so much. If he wants to contact her, he can try. If he wants a picture, we have that too.
The movie also made us wonder about his birthfather for the first time. For the first time, I also COMPLETELY understood why the doctor in the U.S. was SO positive about Jack's health when she found out his birthmother was young and he was her first. I can totally see how being the second, third, fourth pregnancy may cause issue for health concerns. How depressing to have to keep giving up your children. Why would you even care what you do when you are pregnant if you know they are not yours to keep? I don't think I would be in my right mind thinking of long term effects and what not.
As the credits rolled, we looked at each other and said, "Five minutes ago we thought this was a good movie." The ending was contrived for the Russian public and was clearly a statement regarding foreign adoptions, but that didn't really matter - again it was the middle that mattered....the struggle of the people in Russia, the attitudes, the landscape, that allowed us to really think about things - in the comfort of our own home...it also made us feel really lucky to have Jack and to have had so few problems in our own lives, in our country....
Having a baby brings a whole other element to sending out Christmas cards. In the past, we've just looked for humorous or cute cards. But now that we have a child.... he should be on the card, right??? And it should be easy. Just take a cute picture. Put it on the card. Kids always cooperate.............right??? 
"What the Heck Are You Guys Doing?"
Amish Santa
Neil Diamond Santa - (a.k.a. - Hairy Chest Santa - all I need is a gold chain)
Shaving Cream Santa
